Ambassador Autobiography: No Longer Hiding

As a boudoir studio, Jezebel VonZephyr has the honor of connecting with womxn and hearing their incredible stories. We meet each womxn where she’s at in her journey and give her unconditional love and support with the hope that she’ll take a step or two further on her personal journey of growth and self-acceptance. Helping womxn to step into their light and shine is one of the things we love doing the most! 

As a part of our mission to empower and inspire, we invite a select group of womxn to become Jezebel Brand Ambassadors and share their stories of growth, self-love and acceptance. Each of them has grown throughout their time with Jezebel VonZephyr and every one of them has a unique and powerful story to tell. 

Today we hear from Jamie, who’s thrilled to be serving as a Brand Ambassador this year! She summoned the courage to do a session and it’s helped her to no longer hide who she is. We could not love that more!

Not Knowing How to Let Go

I decided to book a Jezebel session after looking at their photos and reading stories from clients. The main deciding factor was to get out of my comfort zone, as I have never done a photoshoot like this before. Seeing my cousin Dia’s journey is what helped, along with her and my husband’s support!! 

Going into my first session, I was anxious and nervous, but most of all I didn’t know what to expect. I wasn’t sure how this would be or how my photos would turn out. As I walked through the door, I kept questioning myself if this is the right thing to do and if I have the right clothes or accessories with me.

And even during my first session, I didn’t know how to let myself go. I felt like I was a stiff board and I wasn’t letting my emotions out. In my second session, I was more comfortable and I just let everything go, including not being shy of showing my body off.

I’m happy to say that after both of my sessions, I felt absolutely amazing!!

I felt like a whole new womxn. After my second session I felt a lot better accepting my body the way it is!! I felt as though I’ve started accepting myself as I am and I’m building my self-esteem up along with my confidence!

My Changing Relationship with My Body

When thinking about my relationship to my body as a kid, I realize that I didn’t really care about my body back then. I was a typical kid where I ate pretty much anything I wanted. But I also realize now that as a child I didn’t have self confidence. 

My body was changing as I became a teenager. Even though I was athletic, I didn’t have a thin body. I was chunky, so I was starting to feel self conscious about myself especially after puberty! 

Then as a young adult my body was constantly changing. And it changed even more after having my kids in my teen years! A few years later I was homeless and I just let my body go; my health wasn’t the greatest. 

Right before my first session, I really didn’t like my body–especially my stomach area. Granted yes, I had started to get back to being healthy but it wasn’t like how it was when I was younger!

Stories About Myself and My Body

I was told that I was fat and that brought my self-esteem down quite a ways, more than what it already was. The relationship with my body after pregnancy shifted, too. My body changed after having two kids: my hips moved more out, my inside had changed, and my outer appearance was different. 

Having kids at a young age has made me grow up really fast versus being a teenager. I wasn’t getting into more trouble because I had to provide for my kiddos. I was homeless two or three times. 

Survival Mode

Being homeless shifted my mind to learn how to survive and get through each day. We didn’t know what the next would bring or what we (as a family of three) were going do. I prayed everyday for 730 days because that’s how long we were homeless.

The stress of living in a car was a lot. I had provide food for everyone to eat (including our dog) and clean clothes. I also had to worry about logistics like laundry and keeping gas in the vehicle–especially during the winter months when it was cold. Even though we had blankets and pillows, to me, it still didn’t seem enough. But dammit, I tried my damndest. 

Looking back now, I realize that I do relate to those stories I was told about myself because I thought no one would love or like me for me because of my image. 

Starting Self-Development

I haven’t done anything to better connect with my body since my session. I know a lot of womxn do, but I haven’t taken any time for myself internally. I recognize that I should, though, so I will be listening to my audible books for self-development!!

I always second guess myself on a lot of things like outfits and such. For the most part I don’t think I am good enough for my husband, but he loves me for me! There is that narrative of not being or feeling good enough, which makes me want to just go back into my comfort zone and never want to get out! 

That “not good enough” narrative makes me feel uncomfortable and I just question myself as to why I look the way I do.

No Longer Hiding

That’s why I wanted to be a Brand Ambassador: to focus on me and help bring out the real me that’s been hiding! I was attracted to Jezebel VonZephyr after looking at my cousin’s photos and reading her story! I wanted to feel the same way she did! 

By being part of this JVZ community and the role it plays on how I view my own body, has helped me realize that every womxn’s body is different! And that’s great!

Final Words of Wisdom

I want to encourage womxn to experience Jezebel. I believe they should take a leap of faith and do something out of their comfort zone like I did!  

Just do it and enjoy the experience!

Does Jamie’s story resonate with you? Are you looking for ways to no longer hide? Jezebel VonZephyr is here to help you shine your light! Book your session now so you can begin to see yourself in new ways. You deserve to let your light shine!