Client Feature Friday: Holding Space for Every Season

Jezebel VonZephyr loves to shine a spotlight on womxn of every age and size. We live to connect with each client; and we pride ourselves on holding space for each of them so we can hear their stories and capture their unique spirit. Each Friday we give a client the space to tell their story. Today we dive deeper into one client’s journey. She’s been into the studio eight times and has grown a lot from her first session until today. She’s excited to share more of her story so let’s get to it!

Age: 47

How many sessions have you done? When was your first one? When was your most recent one? 8 sessions, I think? My first was in May 2018, and my most recent was in June 2022.

What was your relationship with yourself like before you did a JVZ session? What did you love about yourself prior to stepping into the studio? I had been working towards making peace with myself and my body for a lot of years pre-JVZ. I had just come through a really hard divorce (is there any other kind?), and I was married to a man who really hated that I was fat – even though I was fat when he met and married me!

Although I’d made a lot of progress in learning to love and embrace myself, there was a lot of two steps forward, one step back. I knew I was smart and strong and kind and a fantastic partner and pretty, even. 

I had days when I felt good in my body, but plenty of days when I still hated it, too.

How would you describe your experience with JVZ? I think the best way I can describe my experience with JVZ is that it has allowed me to view concrete evidence of my beauty in a way that solidified a LOT of years of learning that I was worthy via therapy and other forms of personal growth.

It is one thing to know and even believe that you are whole and worthy and beautiful; it’s another thing entirely to SEE  photographic evidence of it.

What was the most challenging thing about your first session? I was suuuuuper nervous! 

The biggest challenge was just showing up and being willing to play, especially since I hadn’t met the team in person before that day. Once I got in the door and met Sara and Tiffany, I relaxed quickly and had a blast at my shoot.

Did anything change for you after you saw yourself through the Jezebel lens of love? Oh my gosh, yes! Before my shoot, I knew I had features or qualities that were pretty, but I never truly saw my beauty as a whole, if that makes sense.

Since my first shoot, and with each one since, I see different facets of my beauty. AND ALSO, I still have a double chin and fat rolls and dimples on my thighs, and I no longer grimace in horror when I notice those features like I used to.

Jezebel gave me the gift of both seeing beauty in myself, and realizing that my beauty isn’t negated by the parts of my body that are harder for me to love.

Did you challenge any of your previously held beliefs about yourself, your body, self-love and/or self-care after your Jezebel experience? Yes yes yes!

I think I always thought I had to eliminate the “unattractive” qualities in me before I could ever feel beautiful, or see my beauty. It’s the same story so many of us tell ourselves: I’ll love myself when I lose weight. Or when I get a boob job. Or whatever.

What I learned is that I can choose to love myself NOW, whatever “now” entails. Fat or thin, fit or not, taut skin or not – I am loveable and beautiful.

When you see your worth and beauty as a person, unbound by how you look, it frees you. It freed me.

And the timing couldn’t be better, because I am in my late 40s now, and starting some early perimenopause stuff. I can’t imagine adding this experience ON TOP OF a whole pile of self-hate, flawed views on beauty, etc.

How did your relationship with your body change after your session? I am so much more kind and loving to my body. Even when I have hard moments when I catch sight of myself and cringe at what I see – because those moments still happen – I am so much quicker to be kind in response.

Rather than metaphorically flogging myself for having that “bad” thought, I have grace for the ways in which I have been programmed, over a lifetime, to look down on an imperfect body. I embrace my imperfection. We talk a lot in my house (I have a tween daughter) about how perfection is impossible and just isn’t a real thing.

What does self-love mean to you? Has Jezebel helped you with how you define it? Self-love means recognizing and believing that I am enough just as I am. That my beauty and enough-ness comes just from the fact that I exist. It isn’t about how I look, how strong I am, if I am healthy, or any other transient thing.

Just because I am a living, breathing human, I am worthy of love, I am enough, and I am beautiful.

What do you love most about yourself now that you’ve done multiple sessions and some processing? I love how much safer I am for other people. It’s unflattering to admit, but for all the years that I berated myself for how I looked, I was also internally unkind to other people who looked like me, too. Realizing that about myself has allowed me to hold kindness and compassion in my heart for people, to fixate less on how people look and focus more on how they exist in the world. It’s very freeing to not think about appearances as much as I used to.

How do you take care of yourself? Has your self-care changed at all since doing a JVZ shoot? Definitely! Popular culture seems to focus on baths and spa days and mani/pedis nearly exclusively when it comes to self-care. I think we are *starting* to see some change and growth in that viewpoint, and I have definitely added to or changed my perception of, and approach to self-care.

I think more holistically than I used to.

Self-care, for me, includes prioritizing sleep, eating a good variety of yummy, healthy foods, moving my body with joy and intention, and spending as much time outdoors as possible.

Self-care *also* means getting my annual physical, making that mammogram appointment, taking care of my mental health, advocating for myself, setting and holding healthy boundaries in my life, and so much more.

How do you hope to continue growing and nurturing your relationship with yourself and your body moving forward? Now, more than ever (because of my specific age and this “reverse puberty” situation!!) I want to cultivate respect, appreciation, and kindness towards my body. It’s going to change in a lot of ways, some quickly and others more slowly. And some of those ways are things that we look down on or create shame around in our culture.

I want to hold space for every season of my body and her changes, and appreciate my body for being the way in which I move through the world, experience everything, etc.

I hope in particular that I will continue to find ways to maintain my strength and mobility as I age into my 50s and far beyond!

If you could go back and give past you any advice before your first session, what would you say to her? I would tell myself that how I look is the least important thing about me. I would say “you are gorgeous and strong and amazing, AND also you are so much more than how your body is perceived by others!”

I would encourage myself to give ZERO fucks about how other people see my body, what they say about my body, etc.

And I would tell myself, “you are enough, exactly as you are.”

It takes a lot of time, patience, and kindness on the journey to self-love, as this incredible client shows. Are you ready to start your own new chapter? Do you want to be kinder and more loving towards yourself? Start by booking your very own Jezebel session, dear one! We love helping people see themselves in a new light.

So if this story inspires you, step into our studio and allow yourself to unfold into who you long to be. We’ll hold space for you as you discover your most authentic, beautiful self. We cannot wait to watch your journey!